Sorry, I got distracted too. Anyways.
I've been off the blog for a little while. Okay, months.
I've been a bit overwhelmed with life this fall, primarily with school.
As I've blogged about previously, I have a VERY full teaching load and with our new schedule, the school day doesn't give my mind much of a chance to "breathe".
By the end of the day, my brain is exhausted and I haven't much been in the mood to blog. In mid-November we had parent/teacher conferences. I had meetings with 95 parents over the course of 4 days (in addition to my normal teaching duties).
Mentally, I hit the wall. Conferences are like being on stage for four hours a night, you have to be "ON!" for the parents and when they are over each night, my brain would just seem to stop. By Thursday, I think the appropriate word was "numb".
I had noticed that I was a bit more emotional this fall than I had been in the past - reading an article about emotional Pixar moments was making me bawl - so I knew I needed to talk with my doctor.
My doctor and I did talk and he diagnosed moderate depression. As we were talking about the symptoms, I was thinking, "OMG I've been depressed for 15 years!"
So for the last couple of weeks I have been on medication. It's a low dose and it'll take about 4-6 weeks to fully build up in my system, but I can already feel it working. I'm less anxious at work and I'm better able to handle pressure situations. I've also noticed that I've dropped a few pounds (probably a side effect of not having much of an appetite).
And as a few of you have maybe noticed, my blues affected my blogging. There just wasn't a "drive" to do it, but over the past few days I've rediscovered my spark and will be working to post on a more regular basis.
Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me. To those of you who checked in to see how I was doing, I really do appreciate it.
I missed you Awesome Nerds,
Robert
With that schedule--95 parents!--no wonder you were all-consumed.
ReplyDeleteTake care ... we'll be watching this space.
Being a teacher of advance math has it's positives and negatives. I love working with my kids, but every parent wanted to meet to talk about if their student was being "challenged" enough. Um, they're taking Algebra in the 7th grade - yes, they ARE being challenged. LOL
DeleteBe careful....those depression medicines can also negatively affect your sex drive!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got the help you need. Try exercise as a treatment for depression.
I have no idea what you're talking about .
DeleteOh yeah, I've noticed.
I will be heading back to the gym soon. More about that in a future post. :-)
Being "ON" for 95 parents - that is quite a performance! (And if you tend to be introverted, it is possible, but it is draining and really work). The blessing, of course, is that you work in a school community in which your students have parents who are committed and show up.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to put a gold star by your name for listening to yourself, seeking help, and working on lifestyle changes and medical regimes to get back to your real self. Keep at it. I'm guessing that it will be a work in progress for a long time (yeah, I know, something I need to remember too).
PS You did not break the internet. It will wait for you. ;-)
It's amazing how extroverted I can be in school and during conferences. Parents love having conferences with me - I'm the Parent Whisperer as one colleague referred to me. LOL
DeleteAnd I did have a few friends, um, encourage me to go to the doctor. First a couple of coworkers expressed their concerns, and THEN there was a facebook post in a private group that I'm a member of that, well, was a big red flag. That's where I'm gonna leave it. lol
Interesting. My comment seems to have been nuked.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, glad you're feeling better and back to blogging! Never be ashamed to take medication when you're not well! It's great that you were pro-active! Many people aren't, and the results aren't good.
Being on like that, for so many people can absolutely be draining! It's sure understandable why you've been scarce.
Peace <3
Jay
ps, could you please change my URL on your blogroll to http://www.jgmurphy.org/wp? Thanks!
I was wondering where you had gone. ;-) Blogroll updated. Good to see you again!
DeleteWelcome back, and glad you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back buddy! So happy to see you are active again and glad to hear you recognize you could use a little help. Being open about it is healthy, it takes away any stigma. And the best part is that your taste in men is still spot on!
ReplyDelete95 parent conferences in four days!? My brain would have been numb too. That's an absurd work load, especially since you had your normal duties to fulfill on top of that. The school should seriously consider changing things around so you and your colleagues have two weeks of conferences to minimize the stress.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the drugs, pharmaceutical companies create customers, not cures. If I were you, I would take a more holistic approach. Yoga, meditation, fitness, clean eating, etc. All the best.
It was a bit of an unusual year as I am now teaching advanced students, and so a lot of my conferences were with parents that, in all honesty, I really didn't need to talk to. My principal and I discussed ways to decrease those numbers next year. By working the extended days, we do get Thursday afternoon and all day Friday off, so that's an okay trade-off. 99% of teachers don't have this many conferences, I just drew the short straw this year. LOL
DeleteI wasn't thrilled about going on Prozac, but I do have to say that on a very low dose, I am feeling more "centered". But I'm hoping it's something that I can taper off in the future. Never tried yoga before, but there's always a first time....
Glad you are reading my blog! I'm checking yours out as well!
That's good to hear, I'm happy you and the principle are working on decreasing next years conferences, for your own sanity. Psh, they should have given you the following Monday off too. This scenario reminds me of an episode of Modern Family when it's open house at Alex's high school and Claire (her mom) has no idea what her A.P. teachers are saying. I think the episode was called Under Pressure.
DeleteYoga is amazing...and there's all kinds of practices once you dig deeper into it. There's meditative yoga (focuses entirely on deep breathing and stretches), Kundalini yoga (focuses on energy and the different power points of the body aka your chakras), power yoga (intense p90x type stuff) , Vinyasa yoga (flow yoga centered around salutations), Bikram yoga (heated yoga), etc etc.
Vinyasa is the most fun! Thanks for checking out my blog :)
I remember that episode of Modern Family - I understood it all too well. LOL
DeleteGood to see, (read) you back!
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you back, Robert.
ReplyDeleteI've also been on a bit of a sabbatical, brought on by the challenges of new responsibilities at work and an ill-advised attempt at a relationship at the same time... ugh! The relationship crashed & burned, so I'm pouring myself into rehabilitating my relationships with my kids and friends as well as giving my new position at work the 45+ hours/week it demands.