As part of my health plan with Coach Nate, before I could truly being to reshape my body, I had to let go of those thing that I used as comfort foods. He referred to it as "having a funeral" for something that is unhealthy for me that I need to leave behind.
After careful consideration, I decided to say goodbye to my Casey's habit. I would often stop at Casey's General Store for breakfast - doughnuts, breakfast sandwich, ice coffee.
When I would get stressed from work, or life in general, I would find a reason to "go get gas for the car", or stop for something to drink, etc. Casey's was a crutch for me. It was there when I was at my low points.
It was time to say farewell.
What I have loved about working with Coach Nate is that he's working hard to reshape my thinking about health and being healthy. Nate isn't a personal trainer by profession, but if he were, he would be AMAZING! He's a combination trainer and counselor combined.
I was disappointed that I couldn't hold the "funeral" out at Ada Hayden Park. But it was simply too cold and windy to do that (I about froze putting gas in my car), so I held the memorial service in my kitchen. I texted Nate about this and here was his response...
"Don't put so much emphasis of how it was pictured in your head, rather focus on what it means going forward. What's important is you have come to an understanding that the old ways were unhealthy and you cannot continue down that road. That you have decided to start a healthier way of living and you know that all that way to your very core. That old ways of coping were killing you in the mid and long-term and it's time to do something different."
I almost started to cry when I read this. This journey is about letting go of those things that I have held on to for far too long. As a kid growing up struggling with his sexuality, I used food as a comfort mechanism. Years of self-esteem and self-image doubts only served to strengthen that relationship between food and comfort.
My journey to a healthier Me starts with making small changes - drops in a bucket - that over time will add up to big changes. The road is going to be difficult at times, and I know there are going to be moments where I will doubt myself. But instead of letting those roadblocks and doubts defeat me, I'm putting a support system in place that will encourage me to stay on a positive path and help defeat those self-doubts.
Love you Awesome Nerds,
Robert
I know you can do this! I am certainly going to try, too!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
One day, one choice, one chain broken at a time. John of the Cross says it doesn't matter if a bird is tied down by a heavy chain or a thin thread; it won't fly until that bond is broken. You are lucky to have someone who helps you find the ties that bind [and not in the good way ;-) ] and gives you good advice on how to undo them. One by one, you will be amazed one day to discover yourself flying.
ReplyDeletegood luck with this all.
ReplyDelete