9/11 Memory

We had a brief discussion about 9/11 at the beginning of school today.  It struck me that many of my 7th graders weren't even born with the attacks happened. For a brief moment I was at a loss for words as I realized that the kids would only know about this event through videos, stories and the memories of others. I knew that previous classes of kids are in the same situation, but somehow them actually being around when the attack occurred at least provided a connection.

When 9/11 happened, I was in my first year of teaching.  I was driving to work when a DJ on the radio mentioned that they were getting a report of a plane hitting the World Trade Center.  From the way they were talking, it sounded like it was a small plane.  When I got to my building, I turned on my computer to find out if there was anything on CNN or USAToday and there was a photo of smoke coming from the WTC.

One classroom had cable television and I went there immediately.  I sat there stunned as I watched the building burn.  After a couple of minutes, when I knew that my boss had gotten there, I went upstairs to fill them in on what was going on.  We had about 15 minutes until the day actually started, so we tried to plan accordingly.  Until we knew what was going on, we were going to try and keep the day as normal as possible.

The day started with homeroom and then the kids went to their "specials" - Art, P.E., Music.  Myself and the other "Core" teachers then gathered back in the classroom with the television to watch the coverage. It was then that we saw the second plane hit.  There were no words spoken, just silence.  We decided to continue to try and keep the day as normal as possible for the kids.

We hadn't realized it, but while we were meeting, the music teacher had the coverage on and was allowing the kids to watch it.  I don't even want to get into how much this bothered me.  There was no context for the students. I personally didn't think was a good idea for them to watch unfiltered. For high schoolers, sure, but not middle school students.

While we did try to keep the day normal, inevitably the questions started and I did my best to answer them for my kids.  They were a little scared and understandably so.  Towards the end of the day we gathered the entire school outside around the flagpole for a moment of silence.  I was so proud of the kids for the way they handled things.

I got home at the end of the day and was simply numb.  I called my Mom and talked for a few minutes. I hung up the phone and watched the television coverage.  I don't know when it happened, but I finally just broke down and cried. I had remained strong for the benefit for my kids.  Now, I was by myself and couldn't hold it back any longer.

I still get choked up when seeing anything about 9/11. When Matt and I were in D.C., we went to the Newseum where they have an extensive exhibit about the event.  It took everything I had to hold it together.  I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to watch the footage of the tragedy without getting emotional.